I’ve become fascinated by two very small words:

I’m just.

● I’m just working on something.

● I’m just trying this out.

● I’m just seeing what happens.

● I’m just over here doing my thing.

● I’m just a freelancer.

● I just manage my own business.

They all sound completely innocent.

And sometimes they are.

But I’ve started noticing how often we use “just” to make ourselves smaller before anyone else has asked us to.

It’s almost like a linguistic safety net.

If this thing I’m doing doesn’t work, well, I was just trying it.

If you don’t think it’s impressive, that's okay. I was just working on it.

Just.

One tiny word that can quietly remove some of the conviction from everything that comes after it.

Is it intentional or is it an excuse?

That’s what I have found myself wondering lately. And where did I learn this behaviour? There’s nothing inherently wrong with the word “just”.

Context matters.

“I’m just heading to the shops” probably isn’t evidence of a deep unconscious limiting belief.

But language becomes interesting when we start noticing our patterns.

When do you use “just”?

Do you use it when you're explaining your work?

When someone asks what you're building?

When you talk about a new idea?

When you describe your role?

When you're asking for something?

When you're stepping into a room where you don't quite feel you belong?

Because sometimes “I’m just…” is humility.

And sometimes it’s self-protection…

It allows us to test an idea without fully standing behind it.

And that matters, because the words we repeatedly use don't only communicate something to the people around us.

We hear them too.

Your brain is listening

Having studied how our brains work has helped me understand that our unconscious mind - the part where our emotions, imagination, and autonomic behaviours live - is always listening to our logical, analytic conscious mind.

One of the principles I keep returning to in my work is that words matter because language helps construct meaning.

When I continually describe something as small, tentative or accidental, I am reinforcing a particular interpretation of it.

Compare:

I’m just starting a coaching business.

with:

I’m building a coaching business.

Or:

I’m just putting some ideas together for a workshop.

versus:

I’m developing a new workshop.

Or:

I’m just seeing whether I can get a few clients.

versus:

I’m growing my client base.

The factual situation may be identical.

But the internal posture is completely different.

One says:

Please don’t expect too much from me.

The other says:

This is something I have chosen to do. Lets do this.

That difference is subtle, but repeated often enough, it starts influencing deep though-patters and identity.

And other people are listening too

Language doesn't only shape the way we perceive ourselves. It gives other people cue about how seriously they should take us.

If I repeatedly minimise my expertise, work, ambition or ideas, other people may unconsciously follow my lead.

That doesn't mean we need to walk around wildly declaring ourselves to be world-leading experts.

Confidence isn't exaggeration. And authority isn't arrogance.

Sometimes authority is simply being willing to describe what you're doing without apologising for doing it.

“I run a consultancy.”

“I’m writing a book.”

“I’m building a business.”

“I am a hypnotherapist.”

“I want that leadership role.”

“I’m developing an idea I believe could become really impactful for others.”

There is something incredibly clean about language that simply tells the truth.

No puffery.

No apology.

No “just”.

No longer playing small

This is where I’ve noticed “I’m just…” showing up in my own language. It’s a bit like a bad habit; it had wiggled its way into my words, my thoughts and my unconscious mind. But, this year I’ve chosen to do away with it. Why? Because I’ve played small for years, so hiding behind ‘I’m just’ has felt adequate. But who wants to feel just adequate? Just enough?

Not me.

For the last 7 years, while raising young children and adapting to life as a working mum. I have used that yukky phrase countless times.

I’m just stepping back from my career for a bit.

I’m just consulting.

I’m just teaching yoga.

I’m just enjoying being a mum

All of these decisions took enormous amounts of bravery to step into. And I underplayed them all.

I think if I thought like this 8 years ago, my impact by now would have been greater. But here we are, learning it now instead.

For me it wasn’t just that one word. It was a mindset of not backing myself. It was a decision to play small.

I was protecting myself from my own success, not thinking I was worthy of it.

Was I afraid of looking too ambitious?

Was I giving myself an escape route in case it didn't work?

Was I worried about what somebody else might think?

Probably yes, yes and yes.

That is where language becomes useful.

It gives us clues.

Tall poppies and the urge to shrink

I think this is a particularly interesting term in the Australian lexicon.

We rightly value humility. Nobody wants to be the person endlessly telling everyone how

brilliant they are.

But somewhere between humility and ego sits another option:

Owning your value.

You can be generous and ambitious.

You can be humble and proud of your work.

You can celebrate somebody else's success without diminishing your own.

You can say:

This matters to me.

I worked hard for this.

I'm good at this.

This is what I want next.

Perhaps the antidote to tall poppy syndrome isn't becoming louder.

Perhaps it's becoming more comfortable telling the truth about ourselves and building

authority and credibility in what we truly believe in. At least, this is what I believe.

Try removing one word

This week, notice every time you say or write:

“I’m just…”

Don't immediately judge it.

Get curious.

Take the word just out and see what remains.

“I’m just working on…”

becomes:

“I’m working on…”

“I’m just starting…”

becomes:

“I’m starting…”

“I’m just thinking about…”

becomes:

“I’m thinking about…”

Sometimes nothing changes.

But sometimes you can almost feel yourself standing a little straighter.

And that's worth paying attention to.

The Life Lesson

The language we use can either help us own our choices or quietly distance us from them.

You don't need to inflate what you're doing.

But you don't need to minimise it either.

Sometimes the most powerful shift isn't finding more impressive words.

It's simply removing the words that make you smaller.

A question to sit with

Where in your life are you saying “I’m just…” when what you really mean is “I am”?